I have had a lot going on lately. One of these things, is that a good friend of mine has been removed from a large part of my life (church), at the same time as the death of another friend.
Part of this friend (the one who is still alive) being gone is that she is friendly and easy to talk to upon introducing herself. She once asked me to sit with a visitor to the church. I had already introduced myself to this visitor. So I go over and sit with them... And I don't know what the f to say.
And I am mad, because this person who I knew I could rely on to not be akward and be genuinely welcoming will no longer be at church.
I had a conversation with my FIL over winter break about feeling akward when trying to talk to new people. He is an introvert and engineer and I knew he could relate. I was trying to recall his advice which was an acronym. I knew the first word is Family... And was stuck. So I am discussing this with my husband at swimming and I say, well all I can think of is FART.
My husband finds it. Actual acronym is FORD. And here is a link for FORD technique for starting conversations if you are interested.
We sit there talking and he says, well you can still use FART.
So I am sitting there laughing. Because for me this works. I know that asking about a person's job or career is problematic so I prefer it lower on the list, and when I have to talk to someone new my thought is often "oh, fart." Because of trying to avoid swearing, and knowing that for me it is an akward task.
As my husband pointed out knowing me I might also say it out loud, so he is picturing me talking to a new person and saying "fart, fart, fart" or if we are at a party he can say to me "remember to FART".