The Unenthusiastic Wedding, by Procrastinator

So a piece of the reason I have not posted much is because I am getting married in March, and have been planning. Mainly though my lack of writing is because am earning my title of being a procrastinator. I just wrote a blog on the whole wedding planning experience to share with... well anyone, it was originally directed at readers of the Offbeat Bride group or "Tribe". Enjoy.

Dear Offbeaters,

I've been meaning to write something about this topic for a while, and Ariel's recent post finally triggered me sitting down and writing about all the things that have been going through my head for the past... two months, maybe three.

So when Ariel titled her last set of Reader questions "losing interest in weddings". I was really hoping that the question would address bridal apathy. I know, I know. Crazy, right? A bride who acts indifferent towards her own wedding, how would that happen? I suppose it may be something many offbeats have dealt with in the world of The Knot, but I have felt this way through the whole thing even with offbeat assistance. I adore my future husband, and enjoyed planning the proposal, then came the planning. I have had a few daydreams of what I would like for my wedding, and after talking with my fiancé we had some idea of what we were going to do, but I just couldn't get into the planning like it seemed I should.

I proposed in November 2008, went dress shopping the first time in December unsuccessfully. I had a significant delay on wedding planning because I decided to go teach English in China. I came back in August, and had picked out a date when I came home. I found the dress in mid October, and thought that would make me more motivated to get going on planning. I was wrong.

Now it's January, and while at dinner with a friend about a week ago we were talking about the upcoming initial meeting with the photographer, and caterer, and she said "what have you gotten done for the wedding?" Lately, I have felt like I have accomplished nothing.

I'm a fairly organized person (teaching and stage management are some activities I enjoy), and think of wedding planning as the responsibility of my fiancé and I. We have an idea of what we would like to see on that day, and I hadn't been terribly motivated to spend my days planning. Plans were coming together, we were just taking things in stride, as oppose to being wrapped in WEDDING. Worse comes to worst we get married in a courthouse, and that would be fine by me. I was feeling great about everything. That is until someone asks me questions I haven't expected. Then I panic. I become flustered, and the whole thing becomes a blur. Then I can't even begin to explain what I am expecting, or I find what I say to sound like a jumbled mess, when I know it isn't.

If you are a procrastinator like me, or feeling unmotivated about planning, I would recommend choosing a few things that are essentials, and can't be nixed. For me they would be the location, caterers, and clothes. Those are the big things that need early prep because they may need follow up and further planning, some things can go awry, and they can't be nixed in case of emergency. So make your own top priority list and try to take things in stride. It's okay to feel indifferent towards your own wedding, just as long as you don't feel that way about your partner. Someday it will be done, you'll have beautiful photos, and you get back to planning other life events :)

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