10/19/2006

Too Big

I think everyone has days or at least moments when they think about... well everything. When you think about the whole world and what's going on in it, or even just the whole country. Sometimes it inspires me to think about what it is I want to try to do in that world. How I would like to be able to influence it. Sometimes though it is just so overwhelming and makes me want to go back to bed. Today is one of those days, and I'm not sure of why.

I've been trying to figure out where my next steps will be, and what I need to do to reach my goals. I keep thinking, maybe I want to be a teacher. I applied to be a substitute and never heard back, so I assume they disliked something about my resume. Then there's the possibility of going back to school, which I suppose is the easiest solution. My only problem with that is, what do I go to school for? Physics and Astronomy, teaching, administration, TESL, technical theatre, economics? I am interested in way too many things, and I really don't know what direction I want to go so at this point I think further education would be a waste of time. I half-heartedly want to just leave for China, because that truly is the easiest direction for me to go right now. I just don't know, and some days I find it so frustrating thinking about the things I want to do, and trying to figure out a way to accomplish all of them.

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